we were already dead

When I look outside it’s foggy
I thought it was raining, but the water droplets stayed still
A soft blanket covering up everything so gently
But when I went out it was still cold

When I look inside it’s foggy
I thought I left the window open for too long, but the water droplets didn’t move
The blanket doesn’t feel so soft now
It’s warm but I’m freezing

The fog remains
My vision stays blurry
Why won’t the blanket cover me when I step outside?
I’m still here, standing in the cold

This reminds me of something I wrote when I was in a different place
Despite there being no kind of fog
My vision was still blurry

⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆

24.07.2025

Do you think if I stand here long enough, I will become one with ocean and sand?
Do you think if I immerse myself in the water I can cease to exist?
Do you think the golden marks the sun leaves on the surface can be imprinted into my eyelids?
Do you think if I train hard enough I can move my body like fish in the sea?

I wish I could be one with ocean and sand if I stand here long enough.
I wish I could cease to exist when I immerse myself in the water.
My atoms floating apart and looking for a new place to be.
My existence not being erased but neither remembered.
The whole idea of me being swallowed by the stars but my energy still roaming around.
Do you think they’ll miss me?

How much longer do I need to stand here to get immersed in the water?
Ho much does the sand have to part and my feet have to sink until there is nothing left of me but the memory I leave behind?
Will the ocean be ready to take me?
Or do I have to wait?
Will someone come with me or am I on my own?
Do I want to know the answer?

⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆˚꩜｡⋆

There’s no ocean and sand now but I still wish I could immerse myself in the water.
No sunlight and golden marks but my eyelids still hold its memory.

I still wish I could become one with ocean and sand but my atoms remain still like the fog outside.
The stars can’t swallow me because they’re covered by the blanket.

There’s no sand for my feet, but I still wish to sink.
I’m waiting.